Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
