I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize