I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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