I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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