Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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