I got chris browned last night
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
