just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
