I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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