i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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