Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize