If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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