she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
