Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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