I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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