i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
someone owes me an orgasm
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
