I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
