i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am available for nakedness
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
