Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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