I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
