You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
