When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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