yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
