He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
