I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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