I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
