You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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