You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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