WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
