Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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