We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
