Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
