I think im going to throw up on grandma
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You pole danced in your parka.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
