By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
