We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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