Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
