i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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