At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize