You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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