quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
