i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
