you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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