D3 body, D1 cock
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He better not be in your backpack
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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