I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize