Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
