yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
