How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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