youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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