oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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