brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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