You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
