The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
