I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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