The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize