I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
