a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
