he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
