remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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