brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
