so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
