Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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