if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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