At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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