I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
